i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
