She is in my trunk
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
being pregnant is like rehab
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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