The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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