he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize