He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
