I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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