we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
did i just pee glitter
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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