Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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