Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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