wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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