belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
