so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
