yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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