She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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