if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize