I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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