My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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