I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do herpes really smell.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
