The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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