he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
