just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
