i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
