the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
