East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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