you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
