FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize