I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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