it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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