if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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