Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
