I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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