the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
