Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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