Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize