Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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