I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
