Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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