I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
