Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
