well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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