no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
