Redeem this text for a blowjob
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
