just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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