It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
