He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
