im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
