Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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