I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And then my night got REAL pukey
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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