I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
time to smoke my breakfast
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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