It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
