Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
