I hate all girls vehemently.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
