She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
