I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
