You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
