The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
