I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
