I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
