we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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