I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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