So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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