I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didn't notice because vodka
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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