when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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