We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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