I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
