her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
