I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
