That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
