Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
