This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
