I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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