after a month anything with tits is on the radar
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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