i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
