im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
