After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
