Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
