she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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