Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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