He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
