Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
